Of Pets and Pancakes

Because of the serious nature of my last post, I decided to lighten the mood with a picture of a bunny with a pancake on it's head.

The Experiment

I feel obligated to mention this article shall be a little more serious than the previous, though to be fair there are few things less serious than Don't Tell the Bride. Michigan J.Frog is more austere than Don't Tell the Bride.

Have you ever saw a film, not particularly enjoyed it, would never see it again yet not regret watching it? I'm talking about films that would be considered "disturbing"; Boy's Don't Cry, Mysterious Skin, Downloading Nancy, Wolf Creek are a few off the top of my head that have stayed with me despite only watching them once. Apart from Wolf Creek (which is rich with torture scenes) they depict the sexual abuse of particularly vulnerable people. I, like many others, also struggle with scenes of torture, rape, extreme violence and holocaust portrayals. I was a snivelling mess at the end of The Boy in the Striped Pajamas.

The Experiment was not a great film. A remake of the German, Das Experiment, an imdb user critiques the American version for missing key elements that make the original so gripping. He says: "Although brutal the film was brilliant in the way it explored human nature, human instincts, and one's moral compass." Though I haven't seen the original myself (I had trouble finding a version with English subtitles a couple years ago and subsequently forgot about it) I can confirm The Experiment is lacking these aspects, failing to explore the psyche of the participants and leaving the viewer to make their own assertions of the effects of the test. But nor was it a bad film. The reason why it had such a profound effect on me despite its cinematic lackings, is that is a fictionalised account of the real life undertaking; the Stanford prison experiment.

I have no idea how familiar the Stanford prison experiment is to most people, having only come across it myself when I studied psychology at college. It took place in 1971 at Stanford university. The goal, taken from http://www.prisonexp.org/faq.htm : "The purpose was to understand the development of norms and the effects of roles, labels, and social expectations in a simulated prison environment." 24 undergraduates selected from a potential 75 were chosen for their mental stability. Philip Zimbardo lead the team conducting the experiment which was due to last two weeks. However he never predicted how quickly or the extent of the deprivation the experiment descended into. It was cancelled after only six days. "I ended the study prematurely for two reasons. First, we had learned through videotapes that the guards were escalating their abuse of prisoners in the middle of the night when they thought no researchers were watching and the experiment was "off." Their boredom had driven them to ever more pornographic and degrading abuse of the prisoners. Second, Christina Maslach, a recent Stanford Ph.D. brought in to conduct interviews with the guards and prisoners, strongly objected when she saw our prisoners being marched on a toilet run, bags over their heads, legs chained together, hands on each other's shoulders. Filled with outrage, she said, "It's terrible what you are doing to these boys!" Out of 50 or more outsiders who had seen our prison, she was the only one who ever questioned its morality. Once she countered the power of the situation, however, it became clear that the study should be ended."

Zimbardo doesn't detail what happened at night and I shudder to think what did. Over the six days all the men, guard and prisoner alike, became completely engrossed in their role. Pretty damn scary. Even Zimbardo himself internalised his role as "prison superintendent". The first day was pretty uneventful though upon the prisoner's arrival they were deloused naked in public view and were given ID numbers. They were not allowed to use names thus starting the dehumanisation process. The second day yielded a minor prisoner riot. They took off their ID numbers, blocked their cells with beds and mocked the guards. The guards reacted by spraying them with a fire extinguisher, stripping the prisoners naked and sending ringleaders to "solitary confinement" (a cupboard) From then on they implemented a cruel regime of divide and conquer and control and the situation escalated until the eventual stop on day six. All the men were  free to leave at any time yet only half of the prisoners did (gradually) and not one guard quit. One guard was even disappointed at the experiment's premature end.

The film  pretty accurately follows the real life events, apart from a pre requisite Hollywood ending of course, complete with two deaths. Adrian Broody features as the ringleader of the prisoners with

Forrest Whitaker as the most sadistic guard, spurring the others on. A motivation is given in the film (one thousand dollars a day for each participant. This amount was only 15 dollars a day in the real one) and there are no scientists in the "prison", only cameras. For many scenes I adopted the typical Kerry method of dealing with disturbing things by hiding behind my hands. At the end of the film both my boyfriend and I sat shocked into silence. Surely this is a greatly dramatized account we agreed and went online to check it out. I knew of the experiment, as I said we covered it in psychology class, but I wasn't aware of the extent of the cruelty. We musta got the watered down version! After reading what went on I felt genuinely troubled. How is it possible an average, educated man could commit such acts? How do we know what we are truly capable of? Of course we can sit here and say absolutely no way, I am not capable of torturing another human being. But surely those men who acted as guards would have said the same thing?

Overnight my views on human rights changed. I have always described myself as liberal but having little sympathy for criminals. One of the "prison is too good for them" brigade. Now I understand why we need to have and enforce the concept of human rights and apply them to everybody( research the Abu Ghraib tortures for a real life recent example). I would rather someone be too comfortable in prison than be treated as something unhuman, denied the simplest of rights like the prisoners in the experiment (for example they weren't allowed to go to the bathroom after 10pm, having to use a bucket in their cell instead). Some argue murderers, pedophiles don't deserve anything and should be treated like worthless animals but I say we deserve not to treat them like that.

Because of the Stanford prison experiment and the Milgram experiment, all research needs to adhere to a strict code of ethics. If an experiment is deemed unethical it will not be allowed to go ahead. This is the reason people need to remember these experiments, why this film should be seen, why we should know the details of the Holocaust. There is something dark lurking in humans that needs to be curbed in order not to harm others. Everybody needs human rights, even the worst criminals in society who breach the rights of others.

for more details : http://www.prisonexp.org/

Don't Tell the Bride (but this time someone really should have...)

- Contains spoilers for BBC3's Don't Tell the Bride, 22/9/10

Hapless groom to be, Simon, shouldn't be in charge of organising his own dinner let alone a whole wedding. In three weeks nonetheless. But this is what he unwisely attempted to do. I spent this weeks episode of Don't Tell the Bride alternating between facepalming and gasping open mouthed in shock as I watched this halfwit effectively plot his own relationship's demise and secure the lifelong hatred of his sweetheart's family. And possibly his own. Maybe said sweetheart's too.

If like myself you regularly dwell in the realms of BB3 trash tv you will have most likely encountered Don't Tell the Bride at some point, now in its fourth series. For the more intellectual minded of you who shun such fare in favor of more wholesome activities such as reading fine literature, chess and spinning expensive china plates on sticks, have no fear for I shall ever so kindly fill you in. It's a simple format making for brainless, enjoyable TV. A couple, usually young and lacking cash to get married for various reasons are handed a lovely 12 grand wad of cash and told to go get themselves hitched, huzzah! There is a catch of course and if you're a smart cookie you would have figured the title is a clue. The groom has to organise the wedding with a trusty best man while an anxious bride is kept in the dark living with relatives, forbidden to have any form of contact with her guy for the three weeks he has in which to prepare.

I have no time for mindless TV, I have plates to spin.

The result is often predicable. The young man, much like the bird leaving the nest, steps into a new unknown world but he is free! There may be no one to keep him properly nourished ("I'll get my protein from pizza cheese right?), his socks clean or make sure he isn't dressed like a rainbow vomited on him but no worries. Here comes his trusty best man with a friendly grin and a crate of beer. He'll sort you out! Just a couple drinks and we'll start right away! OK, tomorrow morning...afternoon. More often than not the first night is spent getting merry and and resurrecting the Xbox to its former place of pride in the living room with the understanding that there is plenty of time left and things will be sorted tomorrow. In a typical show the duo will proceed to organise themselves a lavish stag party, a not so lavish run of the mill hen do, settle on a safe choice venue, dress, colour scheme, flowers, cars etc after previously debating more outlandish options guaranteed to make their wife to spend the rest of their married life punishing them. Usually the women is so overwhelmed with emotion at not seeing her beloved for three weeks that all is forgiven, tears are shed and a great party is had by all. A lovely satisfying end!


But not this week. Never have I watched such painful car crash television. Excruciating viewing almost right from the beginning. Kayleigh and Simon appear a sweet couple, together 6 years. Kayleigh is very much a family girl stating her mother and sister as her best friends. Simon is a man who likes to gamble and met his best friend when he saw him performing as Elvis. These two guys left together decide on a venue first which seems sensible. Until they figure it's a good idea to let the roulette wheel decide the location. Red means England, black means....Vegas. Yep you've guessed it the ball lands on black, twenty quid up the boys share a moment seemingly oblivious to the total badness of their idea. Seriously. The worst idea in the history of weddings and possible ever.

The wheel: a good idea. Surprise Vegas wedding, not so much.

Without a second thought Simon gets on the phone and sorts out flights, amounting to almost nine hundred quid per person, eating a mighty slice of his twelve grand budget pie. How to claw back some money? Why leave out some of the most important people of your life of course! Does the bride really need more than one bridesmaid? Pah! Surely her brother won't mind house sitting while they live it up in Vegas. Simon even neglects to invite his own sister whittling the guest list down to a lousy 6. Both sets of parents, best man and Kayleigh's sister as bridesmaid. He doesn't even contemplate simply having the wedding in good ole England where of course more of their loved ones are able to attend. After all, what the roulette table says goes, you don't wanna fuck with casino destiny gods.

In Vegas the boys sort out a venue, dress and suits. Back on British shores Kayleigh is sent for a day out with her sister while the parents, siblings and prospective bridesmaids gather to watch the DVD Simon has sent them. They pop it in and he appears on screen, holding a picture of a country manor with green grounds. Everyone is visibly confused as Simon grins, "No we're not going here!" before gleefully breaking the news of his Vegas surprise. He regretfully informs them that not everyone can come although his apology is ruined by the fact he giggled a bit. Kayleigh's brother looks stern as the seated women start weeping into the sofa. At this point I can barely look, this is worse than watching a horror film! He has made three women cry, and none of them are even the one he is marrying, I am dreading her reaction.

As the episode progresses I feel more and more voyeur-esque as it all crumbles down. At the airport poor Kayleigh can't stop crying and I wonder how entirely, purely, simply stupid does Simon have to be not to anticipate this reaction. Does he have some rare undiagnosed disease that makes the logical part of his brain cease to function when left to his own devices? Is leaving him and his Elvis obsessed best friend alone together a potent combination of stupidly that inevitably leads to disaster? Maybe he's just a dick who likes to make girls cry. Whatever the reason Kayleigh reluctantly gets on the plane although without her sister who now stands opposed to the whole thing and I can't blame her. You'll need to get the whole family shit hot christmas presents every year now Simon. Especially the brother. He's bigger than you and mighty pissed off.

Despite it all, the pair eventually make it to the aisle, nearly breaking up several times in the process. Can't you see what kind of man you're marrying, you foolish fool! He would forget to invite his baby to it's own christening, he would take the lead out for a walk leaving the dog indoors. From now on Kayleigh you are effectively a Siamese twin. This man has shown he cannot be left to make decisions about anything at all. I can't think of one thing he did solely to please his bride in the show. I must admit when I saw the clip for this episode last week, my inner Kerry cried, hurray tears! Genuine tears of sadness. Tired I was of silly grooms making unsettling choices but ultimately leading to no retribution from their forgiving spouse. Oh how glad I will be to return to the status quo of familiar feel good trash TV. I will delight in misfortune no more!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00tp553/Dont_Tell_the_Bride_Series_4_Simon_and_Kaleigh/

 

Tetris : Serious Business

Brow furrowed in concentration, hunched over the keyboard, eyes following every movement on the screen, barely blinking. Deathly still apart from a flurry of furious fingers madly hammering keys. The figure suddenly ceases, thumps her fists onto the desk and exclaims: "Shitballs!" Who could this angry, studious yet foulmouthed character be, you may ask yourself. And what the hell are they doing that requires such fierce concentration. Sadly this would be me and you have just found me engrossed in a game of "Tetris Battle".

Based on the old Russian classic, the premise of Tetris Battle is to defeat your opponent by making as much lines as possible using the Tetrominoes which clogs up their screen with mostly useless grey blocks. You have 2 minutes to out-tetris your adversary and gain or lose stars for your effort which lead to you ranking up or down.

I have spent more time than I care to admit this past week on Tetris Battle. I can turn my tetrominoe 360 and back with my arrow keys in a nanosecond, I see possible and future line formations with startling clarity, to watch me play you would swear no one in the world could possibly be as quick as me or more likely you would stifle a yawn as you check whats on TV. It's very boring to watch someone play tetris. Yet all around the world there are fellow nimble fingered freaks with quicker moves and exotic names, going at it this very second. Gaining, losing ranks and yelling unashamedly at their unknowing foreign gamer counterparts behind the safety of their computer monitor.

Wait a second, you're thinking. Yelling? Who could get so worked up over a game which is after all supposed to be a fun pastime. Introducing nerdrage. This phenomena is no stranger to most gamers, certainly including myself. Symptoms include : unfeasible amounts of swearing; some going as far as to create entirely new ways of cursing, the stamping of feet or fists, shouting intelligibly at your innocent screen or family pet, turning your equipment's power off without following proper shutting down measures and in more extreme cases broken hardware, holes punched in the wall and maybe even broken digits.

As a long time player of popular MMO World of Warcraft (don't you roll your eyes at me, I can see you >:O) I've had my fair share of rage moments. Quitting a group in a huff, getting passionately involved in petty battleground squabbles and calling people's mothers names that would I would blush at in calmer moments.

(the message in the above image was sent to me after telling someone, sorry they couldn't join the raid as it was full)

But as I climb the ranks of Tetris Battle, my out pourings seem to be more frequent and intense. Even after a win I was outraged that my opponent was called "Ng". That's not a name, its a sound dammit. It has no vowels! You don't see me going around being called "hwkffp" do you. At 268 wins and god knows how many losses I have achieved the dizzying heights of rank 18 and man these fuckers are good. Its like they are divine entities sent by the Puzzle Gods to show off to us less gifted earthlings. Like they were born with the sole purpose of playing tetris. Their parents tied in an ultimate tetris worldwide tournament, passed down their Superior genes then the was were genetically modified to enhance their already extraordinary skills.

And how did I become to share the rank of these enigmatic beings? I play it safe. I thought I was fast but wow these guys fill a screen when I have the audacity to take a moment to blink. However this can sometimes work in my favor and with a few well timed lines I can "knock out" their screen, meaning they have reached the top and get to start again at the bottom however they can make as many lines as they want but they won't beat me if I have more knock outs. I have explored the realms of my own nerdrage, but I cannot bring myself to imagine theirs. I think if ears truly burned when a person was being talked about my head would be on fire. I will continue to bravely battle onwards, the underdog in a realm of genetically modified angel freaks, cussing and performing celebratory dances as I go until I reach the top. Or more likely become bored in a week and get obsessed with something else. Lets hope its not Starcraft

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbpCLqryN-Q&feature=player_embedded